My Birth Story – Violet | August 2022 | Wellington, New Zealand

At 30 weeks pregnant, I went to a routine midwife appointment where my blood pressure was high. I was admitted to hospital, diagnosed with gestational hypertension and started on medication. Although there were no signs of pre-eclampsia, my blood pressure remained unstable, so it was recommended I be induced at 37 weeks.

My induction started with misoprostol, but after several days nothing was progressing. A balloon catheter was then recommended. I was told it would be “a little uncomfortable,” but I wasn’t offered any pain relief or gas. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life, and I actually blacked out during the procedure.

When the balloon eventually fell out, I thought things would finally move along, but I was asked to wait until the next morning. I was then told I wasn’t even 1 cm dilated and could go home as it was considered a failed induction. I didn’t feel safe leaving, so I advocated for myself and they agreed to try one final dose of medication.

On day five they broke my waters and labour progressed quickly. I chose to have an epidural, and later that evening, after pushing for two and a half hours, I consented to an episiotomy. Violet was finally born, but she was experiencing respiratory distress and was taken straight to NICU with my husband.

I was left feeling scared and overwhelmed. I kept asking what was happening and if my mum could come and be with me while I was being stitched up, but I was told it was too late. When I expressed my concerns about Violet, I was simply told, “It happens all the time.” As a first-time mum, that wasn’t reassuring—I was terrified.

Thankfully, Violet stabilised and was able to come back to me later that evening.

The following day I became extremely swollen. My hands, face and ankles were huge, and I repeatedly told staff that I didn’t feel right. I was reassured it was normal after birth and discharged home.

Just over 24 hours later, my midwife visited and immediately recognised something was wrong. My blood pressure was dangerously high, and she sent me straight back to hospital.

I remember the doctors struggling to get an IV into me while no one explained what was happening. I asked, “Am I going to die?” The doctor looked at me and said, “You are very sick.”

I had developed severe postpartum pre-eclampsia. I was treated with a magnesium infusion and spent more than a week in hospital recovering. During that time I struggled to bond with Violet and was overwhelmed with anxiety about my health.

Afterwards I was diagnosed with PTSD by a psychologist. Therapy, along with a hospital birth debrief, helped me process what had happened and slowly begin to heal.

For a long time, I truly believed I would never have another baby.

Three years and eight months later, I welcomed my son, Oskar, in Brisbane. Before his birth, I shared my previous experience with my midwifery team. Although his birth wasn’t without complications, including a significant postpartum haemorrhage, I felt heard, supported and informed every step of the way.

That experience was incredibly healing.