Birth-related trauma has cost me in ways that are difficult to put into words.
To begin with, it nearly cost me my life on October 14th 2022 after the birth of my daughter. Due to complications with my placenta, I lost 3 litres of blood requiring 7 units transfused to save my life.
It also cost me the breastfeeding journey I had hoped for. Losing such a significant amount of blood made establishing and maintaining a milk supply incredibly difficult, adding another layer of grief during an already traumatic time.
The impact didn’t end there.
It has affected my mental health, my relationships, my family life, and my ability to parent in the way I once imagined.
I now live with clinically diagnosed PTSD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, have spent years in and out of psychology appointments, and have been on and off medication while trying to navigate the ongoing effects of the trauma.
Much of my postpartum journey is a blur.
I spent so long in survival mode, focused on simply getting through each day, that many of those early months have faded from my memory.
Looking back now, I struggle to remember parts of my daughter as a baby, and that loss is something I continue to grieve.
Nearly four years later, it still feels like yesterday. The triggers remain, the memories are vivid, and there is a deep sense of isolation that comes from feeling like many people don’t truly understand the lasting impact birth trauma can have. While the physical wounds healed, the emotional and psychological effects continue to shape my daily life.
Birth trauma didn’t just affect the day my daughter was born; it has affected every day since.
Thankfully, I am finding my own ways to “heal” 💜
